The First Post is the Hardest

I’m hoping the first post is the hardest and it will get easier from here. It’s kind of intimidating. Here I am all this time, thinking about this blog for months, buying the domain name “introspectionist.com”, ideas popping into my head on a daily basis about what I could blog about, but no time to type out my ideas. Until now. And now is sort of scary.

yellow orchidThere’s several things to think about when starting a blog. Who is going to be reading this blog? Am I going to inform my friends/family that I’m blogging here, or will that inhibit my ability to think/write freely? If I pretend that no one will ever read this blog and if I inform no one of its whereabouts, I may breathe more easy, but then why blog at all? Why type out my thoughts if I think no one will be reading them? I mean, I do have a diary. I could just as easily write all my thoughts there. I am used to the types of words written by hand and inked on paper you can touch and even cut your fingers on, but that are also tightly tucked away in a locked desk drawer for no one to ever read but me.

But these words are different. They’re alive and available for the world to see. Which is kind of the point isn’t it? I don’t want to hide all my writings because they other point of writing is to share. To share what I know and experienced and feel. And I want people to share their thoughts and opinions about the things I blog about. I think it’s called communication.

Anyway, so here you are — I am talking to YOU, a person I may or may not know and do not know if you are reading this or not.

The other intimidation with a blog is that I have no experience in sharing my personal written words with anyone really. And now it is up to me to pick blog topics! Out of my

Railroad Tracks Pittsburgh

Railroad Tracks - Pittsburgh, PA

own head?! This is a new beginning for me, strange territory, and already I am starting to feel liberated. Open space is scary, but liberating. This is where I am.

So I have to start somewhere. And I guess it would be safe to assume that no one will be reading this blog, unless they stumble upon it by chance, and in that case, they probably won’t know me, won’t care who I am anyway. But (hopefully) they will like my words, or my topics, at least. And if I ever do feel comfortable sharing with the people I do know, well, then, that’ll be my choice when it comes.

The other decision I had to make was what to name the blog. I’m not sure why the word ‘introspectionist’ popped into my head at all, but when I saw that it was available as a domain, I scooped it up. And if there was one word to describe me, I think ‘introspectionist’ is it. But, I think many people are introspectionists, at least sometimes, and that maybe somehow by delving deeper and looking inward, this blog will help us figure ourselves out. We all the ability to be introspective.

I realized this past week that I did choose a very fitting name for this blog. I recently joined a writers group and last week was the first time I ever read one of my writings in front of anyone. I was completely terrified and almost didn’t go to the meeting! I’m not typically a very open person and the story was a little personal, (but here it is anyway!) and I also felt intimidated because up until this point I’ve really had no formal training in writing other than what was required for my college degree. The other people in this writers group seem like real writers. I don’t feel like a real writer.

rainforest leaf puerto rico

A leaf in the rainforest, El Yunque, Puerto Rico

As a group we had been given a random topic to write about and I wrote a short story based upon that topic. But when it came time for me to read my little story I felt my throat get dry and tense and my heart athumpin’ faster . I didn’t want to read my story. Too scary.

But after some encouragement from the group (and a couple glasses of wine), I was able to summon up the courage to share my piece. I ended up getting through it and afterward everyone of course said their obligatory nice things, but the first thing that someone said was, “That was very introspective.” And so I knew that I picked the right name for this blog!

Another thing I had to think about was the design of this blog. I don’t want to use just random images found on the internet. I want it to be personal. And I want the design to depict the intertwining of human with nature. So, I decided to use mostly images that I have taken. I am no photographer, to be certain, but I enjoy trying to capture moments of beauty. Not all of the photos on the blog are taken by me, but a majority of them are.

Taking pictures forces me to reflect. Reflect on myself. Reflect on my surroundings. Taking notice of worldly surroundings by moving in and focusing in on a particular angle or color or object and how one relates to the light, colors, objects, makes me think, “Hey, where do I fit into all of this, and how does it all work?” And that’s what I want this blog to be about — looking closely at what makes us and the world tick, hopefully uncovering something beautiful in the process.

berries-on-tree

Frick Park, Pittsburgh, PA 2009

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One Response to The First Post is the Hardest

  1. Bri says:

    Tonight, I was trying to come up with a name for a blog idea and I came up with the introspectionist…and here you are. I started with your first post and can’t wait to see what else you’ve written. I’m scared and don’t know where/how to start…finding this is conformation I’m on the right path! I love it when that happens!

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