I wrote these words earlier today while I was sitting alone on top of rock in the middle of a stream listening to crystal-clean water flow down the mountain in a rainforest, El Yunque.
I wanted to go for a hike today, but detours kept rerouting me (like Outlet malls). And then, finally, I get to the rainforest and decided to take a different trail than I normally do. It turns out this new trail only goes a few yards until it hits a stream. So much for my hike. But just as well, because it’s so peaceful here with no other people, no tourists but me. So here I sit.
I just took off my tennis shoes and dipped my feet in the cool water. Felt so good! This is my home now. I no longer have access to the home I grew up in and I guess it makes me feel a little lost now and then. But nowhere else in the world feels more like home to me than sitting by a creek in the forest.
My mom tells me “your home is where your people are”. True, but for me, that’s not all of it.
Home for me is that creek in the shadows of the trees where the sunlight streams down, the earth beneath and rocks under bare feet, filling me with peace and good energy. This is how I grew up: alone, in the woods by the creek.
Today is a somber day. Not just for me, but for Americans, and the world. Yesterday a madman went to an elementary school in Connecticut and murdered 20 little kids, 6 adults, his mother, and himself. What is wrong with people? I burst into tears late last night and couldn’t stop crying. What is wrong with this world?
I saw the most beautiful rainbow yesterday floating above the ocean. And when I see a rainbow I think of what, when I was a little girl, I was told was God’s promise – that everything is going to be OK. It may rain and things may seem hopeless, but never forget that there is beauty in this world. That there is something greater than ourselves, though it may be nothing more than pure natural beauty. I know that’s no condolence to the families affected right now, and I hope they can find solace somehow, someday, if that’s at all possible.
UPDATE: 11/06/2022. This tragedy was so awful and hurtful to the heart of Americans, in fact, that years later many people would refuse to believe it ever happened, in spite of the heartbreak of those who lived through it. And one person, in particular, would be ordered to pay nearly a billion dollars to families of the victims of this mass shooting for broadcasting disbelief and lies and making the victims’ families themselves a target of violence to non-believers. Many of these disbelievers also were sold lies by gun rights activists and lobby groups. All of this time that has passed has made my next paragraphs seem overly hopeful and terribly naive. END UPDATE.
I don’t know what good to make of this horrific disaster, except to hope that it instills a fear in us all that motivates us into action, some positive movement, whatever that may be for each of us. And by “us” I mean everyone not directly affected, those of us who are watching our tv sets in horror and reading the details in the news, and talking to our family and friends about it, trying to make sense of why something like this would ever happen to begin with. I can’t imagine how the families affected will ever be able to make good of any of this.
When horrible things like this happen, and they have too often recently, we tend to ask ourselves, What is wrong with this world? Isn’t there something more to life than working our whole lives to buy things we don’t need — toys, cars, clothes, jewelry? How much is enough?? Why not turn our attention to EACH OTHER and the natural beauty of this planet? There’s so much we could do and to be appreciated if we embrace our fears and vulunerability and REACH OUT TO PEOPLE more often. If we just took a moment to be GRATEFUL, to appreciate the air we breathe and the water we drink, and the people that matter to us – maybe then we can improve society.
I try to live by the philosophy that the world is in perfect condition in its current state. I know what you’re thinking – I must be crazy. A perfect world is extremely difficult for me to buy right now also. But the world is a work in progress; it is not complete.
Swami Vivekananda says it better:
Is it not a blasphemy to say that the world needs our help? We cannot deny that there is much misery in it; to go out and help others is, therefore, the best thing we can do, although in the long run, we shall find that helping others is only helping ourselves. […]
He goes on to say:
Life is good or evil according to the state of mind in which we look at it, it is neither by itself. Fire, by itself, is neither good nor evil. When it keeps us warm we say, “How beautiful is fire!” When it burns our fingers, we blame it. Still, in itself it is neither good nor bad. According as we use it, it produces in us the feeling of good or bad; so also is this world. It is perfect. By perfection is meant that it is perfectly fitted to meet its ends. We may all be perfectly sure that it will go on beautifully well without us, and we need not bother our heads wishing to help it.
It is perfect right now because it’s moving toward that perfect state. I have to believe that because when I look around in nature, it’s evident. Nature makes sense and it’s always evolving. We are always moving forward. We are always progressing, even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes. And I don’t believe the world is going to end in five days or whatever the Mayan calendar says. And I’m not so arrogant to believe our days are nearing the end and Jesus is going to come and we’ll all fly off to heaven.
As Walt Whitman eloquently wrote:
In this broad earth of ours, Amid the measureless grossness and the slag, Enclosed and safe within its central heart, Nestles the seed of perfection.
The world will be here for a long time to come and by not believing that we are making excuses to not do our duties here on earth: to take care of the planet, pay more attention to our friends and our neighbors, spend more time with our children, and think of something outside of ourselves. We have the power to keep it moving toward that perfect state.
A friend of mine posted these words on Facebook and they make so much practical sense:
Lots of love and compassion were sent to the victims, staff, families of staff and students, the community of Sandy Hook, and to everyone in the world as we are all deeply affected. A seed (thoughts, words, actions) of love grows love, a seed (thoughts, words, actions) of hate grows hate. Now is the time to do something, let’s all plant seeds of love. Let’s think, say and do loving kind things to ourselves and to others. One thought, one word, and one act of love go a long way and deeply affects us, others, and the world. Let’s take this moment and every moment of our lives to plant seeds of love.
This tragedy put some things into perspective for me. What’s really important is that I can find peace in nature, at that creek in the woods, hiking up mountains, and swimming with the fish in the sea. I find peace when I am doing something helpful for someone else. I find peace while I’m writing down words and sorting out my thoughts. And hopefully, my greatest wish is to humbly share this peace with others.
Where do you find peace?
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